An initial compilation of my fungi collection, findings while out in Mother Nature. I often refer to them as fun-guys (fungi, mushroom, slime mold, lichen or other specimen found in nature).
*As with all photos shared within my blog posts and other social media platforms where I share my work, images are mine with rights reserved. Please do not re-use or print them without permission.
To help identify these species, I use Seek by iNaturalist and Plantiary, apps you can download onto your mobile devices. I am not an expert and I do not consume any findings I come across.
My windy day photos from a few days ago remind me of how to better see, pause and listen. Set aside time for you and Mother Nature. Be with her. Watch the sun rise or sun set. Declutter the systems that are unnatural, the frequencies that keep you small. The revolution is with the consciousness. Shift your frequency. You are who you are looking for. You are your own hero. Listen to your intuition.
Sometimes when I am on the trail, whether hiking, jogging or taking pictures, I utilize Spotify, Pandora or Apple Music. Sound is healing. It is energy. Just as important as stillness and silence is, so is sound energy.
Music has often been a way to soothe my being when I am in an emotional funk or just need to relax and decompress. I listen to all kinds of music from all genres including film soundtracks, whatever speaks to me. I have had many moments when a song with the perfect lyrics is on air at the exact moment. I remember when trying to leave a relationship, Timmy T’s “One More Try” was on the radio. This was when music streaming platforms were not a thing yet, Naptser and ripping CDs was popular. I was driving from the university to my apartment in my Mitsubishi Eclipse. I was on my way to pick up my belongings and the radio DJ aired this song as if for my specific circumstances. I remember being stopped at a busy traffic light intersection. The lyrics were telling me Baby can we give it one more try? as it started to sprinkle. The heavy rain drops on my windshield also expressed that universe knew our emotions. My empath heart led me back to him but that karmic relationship ended on good terms years later. We became great friends and still wish each other well energetically.
I am one who can listen to a song on repeat and never tire of it. I have driven from Wisconsin to the Carolinas listening to one song on repeat, that’s over 14 hours of driving.
When he introduced this song to me, I did know why it resonated so much. Only after being disconnected did I understand why.
From the other side, I feel his emotions. I know that I am on his mind and it bothers him. It bothers him because I am likely triggering him as he is triggering me.
I have done a lot of inner work, spent years sorting through trauma and unhealthy conditioning on my own. Most therapists do not know the spiritual aspect of what is going on, not the ones I have sought guidance from. Most of their reasoning is through logic which is not how the universe works.
He makes me laugh. I feel open and safe with him, even through space and time.
“Imagine if I made you cry” were his words. And I did. Something came over me. “I have been through so much. It takes a lot to make me cry,” was my response. And yet, there I was, crying.
It was a full moon. My menses just started. I shared briefly about how I was raped and had to marry the guy to save face. I thought I had put it all behind me. I suppressed it for so many years, numbed it all away to continue my matrix duties as this title and that title, to be there for that person and the other person but not for me. That guy and I did become good friends after all of the trials. We were a couple that folks came to for help and comfort. We were very efficient. When I left that relationship, it puzzled people. I remember us going to a family meeting together while my parents rode with his brother in a different car. It was a meeting to finalize our separation but we arrived together and left the meeting together.
I try to do right but I am likely seen as a villain to the collective, especially to those who confirm to societal norms. How could I leave the man who helped me through all that education? Education is my right but in some cultures woman are not allowed education. Or, how could I leave when we were such a successful team? I could no longer stay where I could not be true to me. I was a people pleaser and was performing for others. Putting myself first makes me the villain.
Maybe I was a villain in wanting to express myself to him. Friends but I felt it was more. Who I was with him was uncharted territory for me at different levels. I did not get to say all that I wanted when I got disconnected. I cried again for two more days. I was not upset with him. I was upset with the emotions in me, emotions that I could not control. My authentic ways of being can be intense. I know I trigger people. I have learned to speak truths and I follow my heart and intuition. Relationships have been a struggle for me but I know how important clarity and boundaries are. I also know that a relationship will not work for me if his energy and mine do not align. My words do not reach him, not yet, but my energy does, even after all these months. I feel this to be true, an inner knowing.
I cannot and will not force a relationship. I know what it is like to be forced into a relationship whether for others through Hmong cultural norms or imposed via world societal norms. I also know what it is like to stay in a dead relationship. It is not healthy.
We make mistakes but we are to learn from them. If we do not learn and heal these karmic patterns we will return in another iteration to learn again.
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*All photos are mine in this blog and in all my blog posts. Any music shared via YouTube belongs to the artist, I do not own rights to the music.Please respect and give credit to the artists where credit is due.
Alignment does not mean that every day is sunshine and rainbows. Some days you will still need your support systems that uplift you to keep you aligned. Talk to someone who supports you unconditionally even when they may not fully understand what you are going through. Participate in what will keep you grounded: meditations, a walk in nature, running a few miles, drinking a cup of coffee or tea, a cuddle with a beloved companion, etc.. Be aware of the thoughts circulating in your head. Catch yourself in those modes of negative self talk and transmute them. Remind yourself that you are not lacking anything. Remind yourself that you are a divine being, it is your divine right to access your true divine being and sustain it.
When you are aligned, the universe will converse with you and guide you. Trust.
I was on my way to drop off my son to school and stopped to get some gas. My intent was $10. When I let go of the pump to stop the fuel, the digits read $9.99.
999 is completion and new beginnings to come. As endings close out, release is necessary. As release goes, new beginnings come. I was not feeling great yesterday. I spoke to my older sister about what I was feeling within. I felt unsettled being in transition. I spoke of how I had grown up in the west coast (California). I had built a life there and then let it all go. Then I started a new life in the midwest (Wisconsin). I rebuilt everything, it was great to many aspects. But again, I let all of it go to begin again. I currently reside in the east coast currently residing in the Carolinas.
Before I was an avid hiker and nature lover, I walked and biked. Taking pictures started as a way to capture moments for memories but now it is a passion I enjoy. I mostly capture nature now but I did take a lot selfies as a way to check in on me due to my health routine priorities in Wisconsin.
I am a selfie person but not quite like others. I was conditioned to please others. I had been through many ups and downs with weight until maintaining it better now. Acne and eczema didn’t help my self esteem. I did not believe that I was any kind of standard beauty. I did not see myself as beautiful nor did I feel complete or enough. If you look through my photos, I started filtering my photos with a soft touch. The first 6 photos were taken on a flip phone and then a Blackberry. The iPhones photos, Photos 7-9, have the soft touch filter. Photos 10-12 have no filter but were also taken with an iPhone. The first 5 were taken in California. The last 7 were taken in Wisconsin. Recent photos taken here in the Carolinas are in my first alignment post. I am beautiful. No filter necessary.
These yearly biometric reports were done as part of our health program in our school district while I was an educator there at the time.
I was and still am a perfectionist at times.
School IDs are not great but I like this one. I will have to do a comparison of other school IDs so that you can see the difference when making your health a priority.
I used to run a few miles after work and take a selfie.
Pre calisthenics workout photo.
I am in transition. My alignment is really good but as I continue to align and ascend to even higher levels of consciousness and vibration, higher levels of being is yet to come. I do not have all the answers nor is everything all figured out, but I am doing well.
I mentioned in previous posts about the shaman journey and the twin flame journey as well as other life happenings. It is as if I have already lived several lifetimes in this one iteration. Time is not linear so my stories are segmented. Each are parts to a continuing saga. I have been putting my memoirs on hold for over fifteen years. I had wanted to finish them but something kept telling me it was not time. I understand why now. It was not ready yet. It is still happening. Someday, my memoirs will be published in a book titled The Villain that Does Not Die.
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It was World Mental Health Day yesterday, 10/10/25. After I completed my meditation session, my Headspace app applauded me.
Screenshot
Meditating is a great way to align the body and train the consciousness to be more open and resilient. It helps to reset the body and the mind. Simple breathing techniques help to physically reset the body while sitting with yourself and your thoughts help the mind better tune in to the inner self. Thoughts do not own the mind, thoughts come and go. Like a storm, thoughts pass. The mind is a sky, the vessel.
If it works better, try walking mediations or other kinds of meditations such as sound meditations. You also do not need to sit for meditations. You can lay down, stand, sit at an incline or position your body to what is comfortable. Explore what works best for you.
Headspace is an app that provides guided meditations along with other mental health support strategies and insight but you do not need an app. You can meditate on your own. And, if you do not want to subscribe to an app, there are other ways to get access to guided meditations.
Today is day 44 for me this cycle. My longest streak was over 900 days. I usually meditate in the mornings and sometimes I do two or three sessions depending on the day.
On my journey to a higher level consciousness where I am functioning at a higher frequency, I realize the importance of alignment within. It is my duty as my right of divinity. We have in our DNA a divine right, the divine abilities are within.
To access my divinity, my higher level consciousness so that I can vibrate at a high frequency, I disconnect from energies that do not serve me. This includes but are not limited to cutting out social media, not going to events where activities will not align with my energy, and putting up healthy boundaries. Oftentimes toxic situations drain our energy so getting creative with boundary setting is needed. It can also mean changing your career.
If you have a mission that is a higher calling, such as being a healer, the universe will guide you and it is not always what you expect because it will put you through a series of trials. That career you thought was right is stripped from you. That relationship that you thought was right for you is stripped from you. It can make you feel awful, like you hurt them (that partner or those at your work community), but it is not your fault nor is it theirs. Anyone who is a shaman can relate to this because the shaman journey is a spiritual awakening. I will dive into this topic of the shaman journey in another post.
One confirmation from the universe that you are on the right path, that alignment to a higher level of consciousness is happening, is seeing repeating numbers or number sequences. These have significant meanings and can also be interpreted differently if you are on the Twin Flame journey.
Most often for me is seeing repeating numbers on my phone.
I do not watch the clock specifically just waiting for the numbers, I would see the screen at the exact moment of the digits appearing.
I see the numbers when out shopping or when an online order total comes out as a set of repeating numbers or number sequence.
On the road, I also see repeating numbers on license plates.
I did not take this while driving, when driving my son takes the picture.
At the gas station.
On my dash in my car.
I did not take this while driving, when driving I have my son take the picture.
When I am out hiking.
I use MapMyWalk to track my hiking sessions. I included these particular screenshots because on each of them there are two sets of numbers to note. In the first one, 333 and 20:20. In the second one, 22:27 and 1:23:45. In the third one, 222 and 369. You can look up these numbers to see what each meaning is. Once you start noticing them, number patterns or sequences, and they keep popping up, you will come to know their meanings by memory. If you are not familiar with them yet, you can google Angel Numbers and their meanings for guidance on Angel Numbers guidance.
Another way the universe communicates is by sending you signs. They could be literal signs or symbols. Oftentimes animals, insects, images or objects are symbolic. In my previous post, a mention a grasshopper and a weevil. I often see butterflies and moths as well as snakes. Have you been seeing animals? Or how about a specific image or rainbows or a specific kind of flower? You can look up these spiritual meanings on google as well.
The universe has its ways of whispering. When you are vibrating at a higher frequency and are co-creating with the universe, you can ask for a sign the universe will confirm by showing it to you somehow. Last July, I asked for a frog or toad as a confirmation to a question I had in mind and the universe showed me a toad moments later on the trail.
A few weeks ago, a feather came floating to me. I have seen them on the ground while on the trail or in a wooded area where it may have gotten stuck on a tree branch, but this feather was floating to me in the air on from the upper left as I was walking by the lake. As if on a special delivery it came to me right at arms length and I put my hand out to where it landed on my hand.
The timing was perfect. If I had been a moment too early or too soon, it would have missed me and ended up on the ground. Grey, white and brown means for me to trust my intuition and inner voice, it also means fertility, nurturing and being grounded.
I am currently on day 1940 on MyFitnessPal. Where I started was 196 lbs in November 2018. As of last Saturday, I weighed at 138 lbs. I was not consistent at first. I would start and stop and start again. As stated in 2020 (in an earlier post years ago), I had to start because I could not walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded. I was also concerned that I would become diabetic and I do not want to be dependent on pharmaceutical medications.
I still log in my meals daily. The calories counting is the least of my concerns but I do like seeing my daily macros. Because I am 46, I make protein intake a priority. I also do calisthenics using hand weights and kettlebells and incorporate cardio workouts to get my heart rate up, focusing on zones 2 and 4. One thing that I need to improve on is my sleep routines. It is difficult as a single parent. It is not hard to get things done but it takes time, why my sleep is impacted.
I invested in a WHOOP device because like many of the apps I use, it helps me to better understand my health and routines. It really helps me to know how I am doing because I am actively monitoring myself. These apps, my daily routines and activities allow me to know what works and what does not work for me.
I am on Day 586 on WHOOP.
I share these stats on social media but not many actually take the time to read or make much meaning of them. No real curiosity. No real interaction. Words and or numbers and charts seem too much to process.
I do not post fitness updates to belittle anyone, I post to show that I am making progress, that I am keeping up with self care. My posts are to show that it can be done. I post to try and inspire others.
All that I have shared so far on this platform, my fragments, memories, and photos, they are all part of who I am and how I am the way that I am. I neglected myself long enough. I was a people pleaser and did not stand up for myself in the right ways. I know that I am misunderstood a great deal because I do not conform. I do not do what most people would do or what most would want me to do. I also know that I trigger people. It is not my intent but my authenticity is scary.
Fear and courage are one, they are the same.
On this path, this journey of authenticity, I chose me. I will continue to choose me and my sovereignty. If I am seen as a villain, so be it. What I reflect back can be scary. If one is not healed they will be triggered by their own wounds.
I am whole and complete.
I do not need anyone to tell me that I am beautiful. I know it in my soul to be true.
I do not need anyone to tell me that I am worthy. I know it in my soul to be true.
I do not need anyone to tell me that I am enough. I know it in my soul to be true.
I am not anyone’s princess. I am not anyone’s queen. I am me, divine and multi-dimensional.
On my way home from the trails this past weekend a weevil and a grasshopper appeared. The grasshopper was by my car in the parking lot. It jumped a few times as if to say hello, do you see me? Yes, I see you little guy but be careful, not everyone sees you. It might be a good idea to get out of the parking lot or you might get run over or stepped on.
The weevil was on my hand.
I put the weevil down by the grasshopper and thanked them for their interactions as signs from the universe. I am not alone and am currently co-creating with the universe through how I vibrate.
If you have read my Fragment posts, it may seem that I need to be medicated or that I need to seek psychiatric services. From all the of the trauma I experienced, it may seem so but I am actually doing better than most. It has been arduous but I have taken the time to strip away a lot. I have gone within, reached out to source and connected with peace and light through energy work. At first it was lonely but then I found gratitude in solitude. I became what I was looking for. Little by little, the universe and why I am here made more and more sense. I no longer fit where I was nor do I need any apologies or to apologize.
After moving away to start anew, I go back to visit where I used to live. I see friends and feel their energy. I note that things can be better for them as I listen to them.
Undergoing an awakening process requires time and energy, confronting and sorting, unlearning and relearning. And it is still on-going. It started back in 2010 but at that time I did not know what was going on. It started with a feeling of void, a void within that I could not pinpoint.
I have completed Reiki Master Level 3 in May, 2025. I was already a shamanic practitioner but I decided to also get certified for Shamanic healing in June, 2025.
I am a healer and I can guide. I can help. But while this is true, I cannot make the choices and do the healing for family and friends. They have to make the choices and seek the guidance.
I healed myself. I am an energy conduit.
I am not on any kind of medication for any physical ailments. I take Claritin for seasonal allergies but this is only when symptoms are heightened. Once in a while I may take a Tylenol but this is not a regular habit. I am also not seeing any kind of therapists. I did seek help in the past, a recent case when I relocated to the east coast and another time when I was still a university student, but they were both temporary and my therapists usually stated how well I progressed on my own.
If you have read this far, know that I honor your time and energy.
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*All photos are mine in this blog and in all my blog posts. Any music shared via YouTube belongs to the artist, I do not own rights to the music.Please respect and give credit to the artists where credit is due.
Where is Chiron in your natal chart? Utilize it. Co-create. Liberate yourself.
Astrology is meant as a guide. Birth charts are gateways for experience and learning.
Transform pain by embracing it. Through you, you can create healing and beauty. Know that the pain, or suffering, served its purpose. Co-create with that pain, that is how you can let the pain pass through you, recycling it into useful, practical energy.
The inner compass is a direct connection to source. Go within and find your answers there. Tarot readers and Seers are guides but messages may come through distorted or incomplete. Consuming too much outside influences may hinder your journey if you are, in fact, on the twin flame journey.
It will try your patience, confuse you, mirror you, break you and foster growth in ways that are not always comfortable. Significant is the magnetic resonance, the push and pull between the counterparts. You will feel their energy and not exactly know what to do. We are all divine but you will know if you are truly on a twin flame journey if you are able to find yourself in oneness in the 5D. Trust your intuition.
Dream Again ~ Npau Suav Dua
Koj nyob ntawm kuv ib sab. Koj tsis hais ib los tab sis koj nco thiab ntshaw kuv lub xub ntiag. Kuv cev tes plhws koj sab plhu.
Kuv sab plhu thiab koj sab plhu sib phim li ib txwm. Kuv puag koj, wb ob sab plhu sib chwv sib haum li ib txhim.
Kuv sawv ntawm lub qhov rooj. Koj nco kuv. Koj tsis chim tab sis koj nyob kho siab. Koj coj tus sab nrauv tab sis nyob tsis tus sab hauv, nruab siab dai siab.
~
He does not tell me anything. He does not say anything but he desires. His body vibrates asking for acknowledgement. A touch, a warm embrace, a physical sign other than vibrations and synchronicities.
I have been focusing on myself.
I reached out, touched the side of his face with my fingers, I kissed his neck and smelled his sweetness, but in the next moment I am standing at the door seeing him cope alone.
He is not upset but he is also not happy. I try to comfort him but he is somewhat distant and withdrawn. He does not know how to approach me or the situation either. How to trust, how to know for certain, it feels like an exposure when truths lay bare to be confronted. He tries to be strong and not vulnerable.
By your sea, you’ll be staring out with pizza at hand. My stomach will growl and you’ll offer me a slice.
Across time and space, a recognition, a resonance. You.
You wouldn’t let me see your eyes. You were not looking for a soulmate. Neither am I. And it is okay, I did not need to see your eyes. I feel you. I recognize. I understand.
“The way we see things is affected by what we know or what we believe.” – John Berger, Ways of Seeing
It ends with me.
The generational trauma that my mother carried. The generational trauma that my father carried. The absence of their parents in their lives which caused their absence in mine. The generational trauma of my grandparents that were passed down, and those traumas passed from the previous generations. What happened in the past does not define me, what happened does not drain me or exhaust me or limit me.
My son will not carry the generational trauma of being displaced, of abandonment, of inner dysregulation. My son will not carry the lingering energies that do not serve his higher good. I dissolve such energies now.
I sever the energies of what no longer serves our highest good from past generations. I sever the energies that may interconnect in current or future generations, the energies that may still resonate in the family members who are still healing. I move the stagnant and draining energies to be recycled into useful energy.
I vibrate as love and light free from limitations.
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