Alignment, part 1

Day 115 this cycle, year 5 going into year 6

I am currently on day 1940 on MyFitnessPal. Where I started was 196 lbs in November 2018. As of last Saturday, I weighed at 138 lbs. I was not consistent at first. I would start and stop and start again. As stated in 2020 (in an earlier post years ago), I had to start because I could not walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded. I was also concerned that I would become diabetic and I do not want to be dependent on pharmaceutical medications.

I still log in my meals daily. The calories counting is the least of my concerns but I do like seeing my daily macros. Because I am 46, I make protein intake a priority. I also do calisthenics using hand weights and kettlebells and incorporate cardio workouts to get my heart rate up, focusing on zones 2 and 4. One thing that I need to improve on is my sleep routines. It is difficult as a single parent. It is not hard to get things done but it takes time, why my sleep is impacted.

I invested in a WHOOP device because like many of the apps I use, it helps me to better understand my health and routines. It really helps me to know how I am doing because I am actively monitoring myself. These apps, my daily routines and activities allow me to know what works and what does not work for me.

I am on Day 586 on WHOOP.

I share these stats on social media but it is uncertain who actually takes the time to read them or takes them in consideration.

I do not post fitness updates to belittle anyone, I post to show that I am making progress, that I am keeping up with self care. My posts are to show that it can be done. I post to try and inspire others.

All that I have shared so far on this platform, my fragments, memories and photos, they are all part of who I am and how I came to be, why I am the way that I am.

On this path, this journey of authenticity, I chose me. I will continue to choose me and my sovereignty. If I am seen as a villain, so be it.

I am whole and complete.

I am not anyone’s princess, I am not anyone’s queen, I am me-capable as source itself, beauty and light.

On my way home from the trails this past weekend a weevil and a grasshopper appeared. The grasshopper was by my car in the parking lot. It jumped a few times as if to say hello, do you see me? Yes, I see you little guy but be careful, not everyone sees you. It might be a good idea to get out of the parking lot or you might get run over or stepped on.

The weevil was on my hand.

I put the weevil down by the grasshopper and thanked them for their interactions as signs from the universe. I am not alone and am currently co-creating with the universe through how I vibrate.

If you have read my Fragment posts, it may seem that I need to be medicated or that I need to seek psychiatric services. From all the of the trauma I experienced, it may seem so but I am actually doing better than most. It has been arduous but I have taken the time to strip away a lot. I have gone within, reached out to source and connected with peace and light through energy work. At first it was lonely but then I found gratitude in solitude. I became what I was looking for. Little by little, the universe and why I am here made more and more sense. I no longer fit where I was nor do I need any apologies or to apologize.

After moving away to start anew, I go back to visit where I used to live. I see friends and feel their energy. I note that things can be better for them as I listen to them.

Undergoing an awakening process requires time and energy, confronting and sorting, unlearning and relearning. And it is still on-going. It started back in 2010 but at that time I did not know what was going on. It started with a feeling of void, a void within that I could not pinpoint.

I have completed Reiki Master Level 3 in May, 2025. I was already a shamanic practitioner but I decided to also get certified for Shamanic healing in June, 2025.

I am a healer and I can guide. I can help. But while this is true, I cannot make the choices and do the healing for family and friends. They have to make the choices and seek the guidance themselves.

I healed myself. I am an energy conduit.

I am not on any kind of medication for any physical ailments. I take Claritin for seasonal allergies but this is only when symptoms are heightened. Once in a while I may take a Tylenol, or Ibuprofen, but this is not a regular habit. I am also not seeing any current therapists. I did seek help in the past, a recent case when I relocated to the east coast and another time when I was still a university student, but they were both temporary and both therapists stated how well I progressed on my own.

If you have read this far, know that I honor your time and energy.

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*All photos are mine in this blog and in all my blog posts. Any music shared via YouTube belongs to the artist, I do not own rights to the music. Please respect and give credit to the artists where credit is due.