It was close to midnight and I was already in bed when I was fetched out of bed. My dad was being sent to the ER.
I don’t remember how much my little brother tried during this incident but I know my little brother tries his best. In knowing my dad, his preference is to have the most capable person help him, capable by his measures and for his benefit and comfort.
I don’t remember if I got to the hospital at the same time or shortly after my dad but I remember having to call my dear sweet colleague. I left her a message to pull out my emergency lesson plans for my students for the following day. Bless her beautiful heart for letting me know the next morning that everything was set, she had helped to pull out the emergency plans for my sub and the students. We had recently switched to being able to request a sub over the phone using an automated system, instead of the paper requests, which is so much more convenient when you have only just found out that you cannot go in to work the following day in the middle of the night the night before.
~~~
The nurse comes in and asks if my dad is hungry. My dad understands enough English and nods his head. She tells him she will bring him something to eat. She proceeds to check his temperature and blood pressure. Dad is willing and even seems to gravitate towards the nurse’s touch. The nurse notes his temperature and blood pressure and exits. A short time later she re-enters the room with a tray of covered breakfast items. Dad enjoys all of the food and saves the juice box. He drinks the water from the pitcher using a clear plastic cup.
~~~
The doctor comes in. Knowing my dad is not proficient in English, he speaks to me in advance so that we could convey the lab results.
“I don’t know how your father is still alive. These numbers do not make sense. I have never seen numbers like this in a living person. Somehow, your father is still functioning as he is. Lucky that he did come in and is getting treatment through his IV.”
“Txiv, thaj maum no hais tias zoo rau qhov koj tuaj cuag kev pab sai. Lawv tso koj li ntshav mus kuaj no lawv hais tias koj cov ntshav nyob tsis zoo. Raws li nws paub thiab ntsuas no ib tug uas cov ntshav nyob li no yuav tsum tsis zoo lawm, nws tsis tau pom dua li no.”
“Lam hais xwb, kuv twb nyob kuv li no.”1
“Txiv, qhov koj nyob zoo no yog vim lawv ntxig txoj yas rau koj sab npab thiab tso dej tso tshuaj rau koj, koj thiaj nyob zoo li tsis ua li cas.”2
Dad’s eyes and mouth expression let me know that he heard me but did not want to hear me. His eyes try to convince his strength and not his vulnerability.
“Your father’s kidneys are functioning at only 12%. At this stage he will be needing dialysis.”
“Txiv, thaj maum hais tias koj ob lub raum ua hauj lwm kaum ob paws xees lawm xwb koj yuav tau lim ntshav li niam thiab.”
Dad does not look at me or the doctor.
The doctor leaves. I sit in the lone chair quiet and not wanting to read but holding the book. I am getting hungry again. I am thirsty, too. I had not eaten breakfast. I did not bring any water or food. Even if I did, it would not have been allowed. Only cafeteria food is allowed in the ICU. I have my debit card but I do not know where the cafeteria is. Sure, I could find the cafeteria but who would stay with dad and be his interpreter if the nurse or doctor came back?
~~~
I did not sleep much at all last night. Instead I watched the clock. I closed my eyes and tried to rest but I did not sleep. The minutes passed by and my stomach stopped growling. I tried to read but I was only repeating the words in my head. Those same words on that page made no meaning no matter how much I tried to focus on them. When the story did not progress, I stopped trying. I don’t remember how many times I shifted my body’s weight to try to find a more comfortable position but that chair, with limited padding, no longer offered comfort.
~~~
The nurse walks in. “What would you like for lunch, Wayne?” Dad’s name is Wang Neng but they always say it as Wayne. Maybe there is a resemblance with John Wayne? Mom really likes John Wayne, amongst other American actors on American tv. I’ve never seen dad wear a cowboy hat though, a cap but not a cowboy hat.
“Koj hais rau nws hais tias nws nqa li cas los kuv noj li ntawv no.”
“Dad says he will eat whatever you bring for him.”
“I will have the salt and pepper packets on the side. He needs to watch his level of sodium intake.”
“Nurse hais tias nws nqa cov zaub mov tsis qab ntsev tab sis nws mam nqa ntsev thiab hwj txob thiab, yog koj yuav rau ntsev no ces kom rau me me xwb.”
The nurse re-enters with dad’s lunch tray, covered. The steam rising from him uncovering the plate. I don’t remember what it is, maybe some chicken and steamed vegetables. I remember there was a juice box. I remember he does not drink it. I remember him placing it next to the breakfast juice box.
My stomach does not growl but a juice box seems a good option. He does not offer either of them.
The nurse takes the empty tray away. She returns some time later to take more vitals from my dad. I watch dad’s posture and demeanor towards the nurse. Her touch seems angelic. Her touch seems to provide something his body is craving. It is not anything sexual at all, she is just getting his vitals but to my dad’s physical response it seems to relieve some hidden emotions or needs. It is not anything like she is his mother, that she is trying to nurture him but to him it seems he is a boy needing comfort. It seems he needs the touching as if to say that he is alive and still has feelings.
~~~
Sometime around 4:00 PM, I received a call from a cousin. Cousin’s plan is to relieve me if I need it. I was neither hungry nor thirsty when I got home around 6:00 PM but my mother-in-law took one look at me and stated, “Nyab es, ua cas koj yuav daj ntseg ua luaj li os, qhov muag tho tag li lawm.”3
___
Footnotes:
- “It’s not true, I am fine as I am.”
- “The reason why you are feeling fine is because they are giving you fluid and medication treatment through your IV.”
- “Daughter-in-law, you look a fright, your eyes popping out.”
*Translations are not word for word but instead convey the meaning.
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